"Is this heaven? No, it's Iowa."

Does anyone truly look forward to the end of their life? How many people embrace the concept of their own death? Not many people do. Death is a great unknown for us. Just as in the purpose of life, the finality of death is pretty uniform. It is only in what happens after death that we start to see the tenets of faith, or non-faith, diversify humanity.

Death can have its uses in life. Often people mention their "bucket lists," a series of tasks they wish to achieve before they "kick the bucket." The list can range from the basic - apologize for wrong doings, visit old friends - while others are nothing short of inspiring - visit the Seven Wonders of the World.

Then there is the death clock. You can find here. Finding out how long you have to live can be great motivation to make the changes you talk about during New Year's parties and doctor's visits.

No matter what people do with knowledge of their own mortality, one fact remains: time may be the undefeatable enemy, but we cannot wait for it to overcome us. Grasp what few moments we have and live it for all its worth.

Then again, watching Chuck can be just as fun.

---

This week I heard an interesting question: if you knew you were going to die within the next hour, who would you write to and what would you say?

To say this is an odd topic of discussion is an understatement. Who, in their right mind, would enjoy spending their time talking about this? Other than me? People normally want to debate the meaning of life or, more often, entertainment and/or sports.

Since the question was asked, however, I was compelled to answer it. The first thought in my head was to write "HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" I would presume it is a normal reaction for many people who are fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to know of their impending demise. It's not like there is enough time to write the Great American Novel you dreamed about, go skydiving, or see the world. You can't exactly call all of your friends and family to say goodbye, because that call with your mother will last longer than the time you have left (especially if you never call). So would writing a letter be the only logical thing left to do before your demise? Maybe not.

I would rather spend my last hour doing a few other things. I could find any recording available of the last time the Cubs won the World Series, just so I can live the moment as if it really happened. Or watch the last quarter of the OU National Championship win over Florida State in 2001. I still grin from ear to ear when I think about that game. Maybe watch the last episode of West Wing, pretend for one fleeting moment that I, too, could change the world.

And if I were going to write a letter, I'd make sure it accomplished two things; how I want to be buried and any vain attempt to come off as the most profound human ever. The letter would start off quite simple:

From the Desk of Shimko

Dear ,


I'm dying. Sucks, I know. But since you're reading this and I'm studying the insides of my eyelids - for eternity - I figured you might as well know a few things.

First, make sure NO ONE sees this page. Burn it after you take care of what I have asked you to do.

Now, Make sure EVERYONE is crying at my funeral. I don't care how you do it, just see that tears are flowing faster than the Obama inauguration.

I don't care about a casket. Cremate me instead. Have my ashes strewn in the following places; Owen Field so I can be with the Sooners, Wrigley Field so I can be with the Cubs, Capitol Hill so I can haunt every legislator walking the halls. And do what you can to let the world know of the ghost roaming the Capitol Building, keeping an eye on things and cursing those who corrupt. If I can't be recognized as a leader in the community while alive, might as well turn into the stuff of urban legends...

The other half of the letter wouldn't be as easy. I'm sure it would go something like:

From the Desk of Justin Shimko

Dear ,

Since you are reading this, I have passed on. This isn't a time for tears, as they are falling for someone who cannot see them. Instead, think about the great times we had. I don't have much to say, since so much has been said while I was alive. I don't regret anything I have done, even (insert situation that resulted in my death). Life is short, but it can be exciting.

I guess it is fitting I get to write this letter. I'm always one to announce my plans right before I do them. So here it goes. In just a few moments I'll be taking on the greatest, most mysterious, adventure of man. While you all will live your lives and walk along paths long documented by society, I'll be taking a trip down a path no one has definitively written about. In a way, this is exciting. Too bad no one will get to know what it's like until they encounter it.

In truth, however, I'll probably just write "my passwords are (insert passwords). E-mail everyone to let them know what happened. Cancel my subscription to (insert all my subscriptions). Don't forget to erase my hard drive and make sure my Facebook account is canceled."