Monday, February 23, 2009

"Baby, Uh Uh, It Don't Work"

There is something spiritual about music. The use of our imagination, manipulating external objects in uniformity to convey an emotion or message, can only be described as divinity on earth. Music is such a unifying factor of humanity. The songs sung by the many animals in the world, such as the birds in spring, have a purpose, typically mating. But the songs of man can have no other purpose than to enjoy being alive.

It is no wonder, then, that music's many forms can be seen in great and small measures. While Bono and Bon Jovi are celebraties for their songs and talents, people like me play the violin, strum the guitar, or sing in church, purely for the love of the creating music. People worldwide play without the objective of becoming the next Mick Jagger or Leona Lewis. They play to make people smile and enjoy the moment.

Rarely do you find a culture that abhors the thought of music. Even those that distance themselves from instruments still allow the voice to ring out in joyful noises.

But when can music become a nuisance, a part of a growing problem? When it becomes a part of the drug.



I have a friend in DC, no names are needed at the time, who loves to swing dance. When I say loves to swing dance, I mean LOVES. I'm certain she would give up her day job to swing dance her life away if she didn't need her 9-5 to pay for the dancing. That's right, she pays for her obsession. It's not cheap to strut your stuff five days a week. It's almost comical, really, to think of all the times she has passed on doing other things, like enjoying the great company of good ol' Oklahoma men, just to make it to another hardwood dance floor and perform the Lindy Hop to a live band.

Dancing, for her, has become like a drug. And all the signs are there. She pays for her "fix," even gets a discount for being a loyal contributor to her "dealers" coffers, through a "frequent dancer card." When the costs climb to high, she volunteers for her dealers. And when people tell her it is getting to be too much, she replies that you cannot have too much dancing.

And this isn't like a swing-dancing only problem. Dancing is tiered, just like our drugs. There are serious-problem drugs and street-legal drugs in dancing. Going to the prom - or something like that - and swaying your hips from side to side, arms barely moving is akin to smoking cigarettes. It's not good for you and you look like a fool doing it. It's hard to figure out the equation of dancing and drugs without some help, so I've devised a little cheat-sheet for those out there worried about their friend's dangerous dancing behaviors.

Street Legal: They're okay to do, but only on occasion

We already mentioned the high-school dance style equalling the smooth taste of Marlboro Lights, but there are other dances that can be placed at the same level. Think of them as a can of Skoal or a bottle of really cheap (and really bad) wine.


  • Disco. It's dead, no one seriously dances like this anymore. But when they do, it is for comedic purposes. Harmless, but stupid.
  • Cheer. This pretty much goes for all organized group dancing seen in elementary school on up to high school (and college, I guess, for cheer). These dance routines are hard work, no doubt, and the dancers are to be commended for their athleticism. But, like other drugs, they are habit-forming and the dancers are constantly practising, performing, or thinking about their dance.
  • Stepping. The best way to describe this is the stomp-dancing you see in the National Pan-Hellenic fraternal organizations. These rhythmic movements are addictive in nature, with the dancers learning more and the viewers salivating at every chance to see a performance. It is no wonder movies like Stomp the Yard raked in such a large profit (more than 4.5X the film's budget).


Gateway: They won't kill you, necessarily, but they can lead to some dangerous living

These dances are not only bad for you, but can lead to things that are downright wrong for you. Think of it as the marijuana of dancing. It never leads to a better life, just more money wasted.


  • Ballroom. Most people don't ballroom dance these days. Well, more people do because of Dancing with the Stars, but it's not like they have teams in every school and people compete the way they do with the other dances mentioned. Really, these dancers perform, dance hard, and never back away from it. The desire is endless. The junkies keep trying to get their fix. They pay their money just to enjoy their dance. They spend their money to join exclusive clubs and dance the night away. Once the club has had their annual formal, the dancers will find other clubs to join or come up with other formals to hold. Does it stop? Only by finding bigger thrills (see following section) or the grave.
  • Swing. This kind of dancing just blows my mind. Just watch a routine and you'll notice hips jutting, skirts swishing, hands swaying, and bodies flying through the air. And it's all supposedly PG. This is the dancing my friend does, and it's mind boggling how much of it she does. I know that if she could afford it, she'd do nothing else but swing dance. Her job is solely to provide her swing kick. However, I give her a break because I love swing music. Everything from Brian Setzer to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, plus many more, gets my heart racing and my adrenaline pumping. Of course, I don't dance, so I can control my addictions.
  • Clubbing. I'm not entirely sure there is a competition for clubbing, but just going to a dance club can tell you that this style is a drug, one that is usually enhanced by alcohol and drugs. Prior to the advent of clubbing it was unknown that man and woman could touch so much of each other without taking their clothes off. Then again, as tightly packed as the dance floor is at most clubs, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise. The bumping and grinding seen in a dance club would make your mother faint, but only the best of the best continue on to the next level of dancing.


The Hard Stuff: Stay Away! Do Not Even Think About This Stuff!

Your heroin and crack/cocaine dance moves are the serious stuff rarely attempted, unless you've been doing the stuff for years and can't help but continue their addiction. The fitness level needed for these dancers only accentuates the problem behind the dancing. When you have to watch every calorie taken in, abhor any kind of fun to compete, and forget that lives are lived outside of your field, then you know you are in it deep and it will take a lot of recovery before you join us back in the real world.


  • Ballet. I'm sure some people are surprised to see this style here, but unless you've spent a part of your life in ballet, it is hard to realize the stress associated with it. Fortunately for me, my life was spent covering ballet as a reporter. I had no experience in dance, but was the only staffer who had any fine arts background (proudly playing the violin for nearly 20 years now). The most dedicated dancers, the most serious schools, and the most reputable dance troupes, demand the most out of the art form. If you don't have the emotional stamina you will be chewed up and spat out by the ballet world. I'm thankful for my time covering this dance form since it gave me a greater appreciation for what they go through, but I could never imaging having to go through anything remotely close to what ballet dancers go through.
  • Street Dancing. I'm not really talking about the guys who dance on the corner in Virginia Beach or Los Angeles, although some of them would fit here. I'm talking about the new American dance style that was featured by the American Team during Superstars of Dance. This is serious stuff here. The dancers scare the living crap out of me because of their acrobatic maneuvers. Watching it gave me a sense of hip-hop mixed with a little Parkour. I'm sure some people break bones trying this stuff. This drug can be lethal, I'm telling you now. If you can't handle a little swing, or even a little ballroom, stay away from street dancing. Leave it to those who have been on the drug for years.


Hopefully someone will listen to the words of wisdom and avoid the evils of dancing. If not, then I pray for their soul, because there is little hope for the child who starts off with an innocent dance routine in elementary school. Before you know it, she'll be swaying her hips to the rhythm of song and moving into a world of destitution and despair.

0 comments: