"If I were king (or in her case, queen) of the forest"

Everyone in life has a path they take. Sometimes the road is smooth, filled with the occasional stone or brook, slowing them on their journey but never really stopping their dreams. Others are filled with deep chasms that force them to look elsewhere as they live along in their life.

Then you have those who has the path filled with such potholes, washed-out bridges, flooded passings that anyone wonders how they make it to the other side. Their stories are comedic, adventurous, and entertaining. The hero (or heroine) never seems to let the hard times destroy them, while making sure to enjoy the good times within reason. It can be amazing, to say the least, that such people exist and such people fail to come out better than before.

When you meet someone like this, make sure to never ever let them slip away. Always keep them as a good friend, or else you may find your life slipping into the mundane.

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It has become quite apparent that my friend, the one I called Annie a few posts ago, has lived a most entertaining life. In her short time on earth, she has managed to not only keep me on my toes, but also keep me guessing what's going to happen next. Because of this, it is only fitting that I would include her stories on this blog as I am certain other people would find them just as fun to read. So, from time to time, I'm going to be writing about her life. I'll still call her Annie until she allows me to use her real name (which I presume will be never.)

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My friend decided some time ago to experiment with the idea of having a roommate. Normally, this isn't a bad thing, since many young Americans share houses and apartments to make ends meet. However, in the case of Annie, this hasn't happened. Not since her freshman year in college, we're talking close to 10 years now, has she shared living space with other people.

It appeared that the stars were perfectly aligned, also, when a co-worker needed a place to stay for three months while preparing for a wedding. Ironically, this person hadn't lived alone before, ever, and so she needed a roommate before getting married. The two agreed to basic terms, not using a rental agreement, and proceeded to prepare for the eventual move-in date. Naturally, for my friend at least, this is where the fun stopped.

At first, there were moments where the newbie would ask questions that would raise eyebrows, such as fluctuating move-in dates (by weeks, not days). These questions can usually be taken as signs of exuberance in the eventual moving in. Normally, the questions are random and odd, but nothing more than silly things.

But then, things took a turn for the worse. There were the impromptu meetings in the work-place, where everyone could hear what's going on, even when my friend would be on the phone. Follow that up with odd remarks that indicated this person wasn't going to be the best roommate. Remarks that equal a haughtiness about her character, that she is better than my friend. I won't go into details, but the two backgrounds would indicate otherwise.

The week before this girl was supposed to move in, my friend messages me with anxiety over the upcoming move. She doesn't want to have her as a roommate. I first tried to convince her that it was just nerves, since she never had a roommate, and that things would be okay. But then there were other remarks that caught even me off guard.

First she wanted to move in during the weekend while Annie was away. So, she came up to her at work, again where everyone can hear her, and asked for the keys to move in. Without regard to the concept of privacy, she became exasperated when my friend refused to blindly hand over the keys to her house so the newbie can move in and lay claim to the world without consultation. To add to the enjoyment, when my friend thought it would be best to move at a time when they both could be there, the potential roommate turned away, only to text later that she would delay her move by a week.

While this is going on, around Valentine's Day, more problems creep up for my now-stressed friend. A while ago, she befriended a nice guy. Without going into too much detail this guy wanted to date my friend and then disappeared only to show up later on with a wife. Not that matrimony stopped his affection. Shortly after the divorce (who didn't see that coming?) he continued his pursuit of my friend. Of course, Annie is just not that into him and has tried to convey the message that they are friends, but nothing more. Apparently this guy hasn't received the message as Annie was welcomed on Saturday afternoon with flowers on her doorstep from the non-boyfriend.

To add fuel to the fire on Monday, the non-roommate asked about moving in throughout the week, kind of like a puzzle. She apparently wants to move in some of her things throughout the week and then finish it off on Saturday with a larger move. Before Annie could respond, because she was taking care of personal errands (i.e. hair appointment), she received another text asking if it was okay that someone else stayed with them for a few days. To say the least, this was the nail in the coffin of their arrangement.

So by Monday evening she has two problems, how to have a non-break-up with a non-boyfriend and how to end a living arrangement with a non-roommate. Of course the non-roommate got an inkling that something was awry when Annie said that they'd talk about the issues later. Tuesday morning, she comes down to Annie's desk, again so everyone can see and hear what's going on, and asked about when a good time would be to talk about the moving in. Of course, this would've been easier through e-mail, but the non-roommate hasn't quite grasped the concept of e-mail protocol. She thinks e-mails should be like phone calls; you respond the moment you get the e-mail and not when it is convenient for you.

As the day wore on, the anxiety had clearly shifted from having a roommate to having to end the arrangement. At first she was going to end it in person, but then started wondering if this was warranted. Granted, when ending any major relationship; whether it's a roommate situation or a romantic encounter, you should do so in person. However, when she later discovered that the non-roommate was talking to someone else about the possibility of moving in their place all pretense of having to end it in person vanished.

Of course, there was the impending fear of what would happen once this arrangement was ended. Would the non-roommate make things uncomfortable at the office? Would she try to have Annie removed from work altogether (using various lies, of course)? Or would things end smoothly?

Turns out, things ended smoothly. Annie explained that she the non-roommate would want someone else as a roommate since the non-roommate is getting married and wants to talk about the plans or just talk about life in general(something Annie doesn't want to do any of that after work.) The non-roommate agreed and things ended amicably. Looking back at it all, it was a situation that could've been worse, but failed to live up to the pending fireworks. Kind of like Superman Returns.

As for the non-boyfriend...well, that's for another day.

"Baby, Uh Uh, It Don't Work"

There is something spiritual about music. The use of our imagination, manipulating external objects in uniformity to convey an emotion or message, can only be described as divinity on earth. Music is such a unifying factor of humanity. The songs sung by the many animals in the world, such as the birds in spring, have a purpose, typically mating. But the songs of man can have no other purpose than to enjoy being alive.

It is no wonder, then, that music's many forms can be seen in great and small measures. While Bono and Bon Jovi are celebraties for their songs and talents, people like me play the violin, strum the guitar, or sing in church, purely for the love of the creating music. People worldwide play without the objective of becoming the next Mick Jagger or Leona Lewis. They play to make people smile and enjoy the moment.

Rarely do you find a culture that abhors the thought of music. Even those that distance themselves from instruments still allow the voice to ring out in joyful noises.

But when can music become a nuisance, a part of a growing problem? When it becomes a part of the drug.

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I have a friend in DC, no names are needed at the time, who loves to swing dance. When I say loves to swing dance, I mean LOVES. I'm certain she would give up her day job to swing dance her life away if she didn't need her 9-5 to pay for the dancing. That's right, she pays for her obsession. It's not cheap to strut your stuff five days a week. It's almost comical, really, to think of all the times she has passed on doing other things, like enjoying the great company of good ol' Oklahoma men, just to make it to another hardwood dance floor and perform the Lindy Hop to a live band.

Dancing, for her, has become like a drug. And all the signs are there. She pays for her "fix," even gets a discount for being a loyal contributor to her "dealers" coffers, through a "frequent dancer card." When the costs climb to high, she volunteers for her dealers. And when people tell her it is getting to be too much, she replies that you cannot have too much dancing.

And this isn't like a swing-dancing only problem. Dancing is tiered, just like our drugs. There are serious-problem drugs and street-legal drugs in dancing. Going to the prom - or something like that - and swaying your hips from side to side, arms barely moving is akin to smoking cigarettes. It's not good for you and you look like a fool doing it. It's hard to figure out the equation of dancing and drugs without some help, so I've devised a little cheat-sheet for those out there worried about their friend's dangerous dancing behaviors.

Street Legal: They're okay to do, but only on occasion

We already mentioned the high-school dance style equalling the smooth taste of Marlboro Lights, but there are other dances that can be placed at the same level. Think of them as a can of Skoal or a bottle of really cheap (and really bad) wine.

• Disco. It's dead, no one seriously dances like this anymore. But when they do, it is for comedic purposes. Harmless, but stupid.
  
• Cheer. This pretty much goes for all organized group dancing seen in elementary school on up to high school (and college, I guess, for cheer). These dance routines are hard work, no doubt, and the dancers are to be commended for their athleticism. But, like other drugs, they are habit-forming and the dancers are constantly practising, performing, or thinking about their dance.
  
• Stepping. The best way to describe this is the stomp-dancing you see in the National Pan-Hellenic fraternal organizations. These rhythmic movements are addictive in nature, with the dancers learning more and the viewers salivating at every chance to see a performance. It is no wonder movies like Stomp the Yard raked in such a large profit (more than 4.5X the film's budget).
  

Gateway: They won't kill you, necessarily, but they can lead to some dangerous living

These dances are not only bad for you, but can lead to things that are downright wrong for you. Think of it as the marijuana of dancing. It never leads to a better life, just more money wasted.

• Ballroom. Most people don't ballroom dance these days. Well, more people do because of Dancing with the Stars, but it's not like they have teams in every school and people compete the way they do with the other dances mentioned. Really, these dancers perform, dance hard, and never back away from it. The desire is endless. The junkies keep trying to get their fix. They pay their money just to enjoy their dance. They spend their money to join exclusive clubs and dance the night away. Once the club has had their annual formal, the dancers will find other clubs to join or come up with other formals to hold. Does it stop? Only by finding bigger thrills (see following section) or the grave.
  
• Swing. This kind of dancing just blows my mind. Just watch a routine and you'll notice hips jutting, skirts swishing, hands swaying, and bodies flying through the air. And it's all supposedly PG. This is the dancing my friend does, and it's mind boggling how much of it she does. I know that if she could afford it, she'd do nothing else but swing dance. Her job is solely to provide her swing kick. However, I give her a break because I love swing music. Everything from Brian Setzer to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, plus many more, gets my heart racing and my adrenaline pumping. Of course, I don't dance, so I can control my addictions.
  
• Clubbing. I'm not entirely sure there is a competition for clubbing, but just going to a dance club can tell you that this style is a drug, one that is usually enhanced by alcohol and drugs. Prior to the advent of clubbing it was unknown that man and woman could touch so much of each other without taking their clothes off. Then again, as tightly packed as the dance floor is at most clubs, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise. The bumping and grinding seen in a dance club would make your mother faint, but only the best of the best continue on to the next level of dancing.
  

The Hard Stuff: Stay Away! Do Not Even Think About This Stuff!

Your heroin and crack/cocaine dance moves are the serious stuff rarely attempted, unless you've been doing the stuff for years and can't help but continue their addiction. The fitness level needed for these dancers only accentuates the problem behind the dancing. When you have to watch every calorie taken in, abhor any kind of fun to compete, and forget that lives are lived outside of your field, then you know you are in it deep and it will take a lot of recovery before you join us back in the real world.

• Ballet. I'm sure some people are surprised to see this style here, but unless you've spent a part of your life in ballet, it is hard to realize the stress associated with it. Fortunately for me, my life was spent covering ballet as a reporter. I had no experience in dance, but was the only staffer who had any fine arts background (proudly playing the violin for nearly 20 years now). The most dedicated dancers, the most serious schools, and the most reputable dance troupes, demand the most out of the art form. If you don't have the emotional stamina you will be chewed up and spat out by the ballet world. I'm thankful for my time covering this dance form since it gave me a greater appreciation for what they go through, but I could never imaging having to go through anything remotely close to what ballet dancers go through.
  
• Street Dancing. I'm not really talking about the guys who dance on the corner in Virginia Beach or Los Angeles, although some of them would fit here. I'm talking about the new American dance style that was featured by the American Team during Superstars of Dance. This is serious stuff here. The dancers scare the living crap out of me because of their acrobatic maneuvers. Watching it gave me a sense of hip-hop mixed with a little Parkour. I'm sure some people break bones trying this stuff. This drug can be lethal, I'm telling you now. If you can't handle a little swing, or even a little ballroom, stay away from street dancing. Leave it to those who have been on the drug for years.
  

Hopefully someone will listen to the words of wisdom and avoid the evils of dancing. If not, then I pray for their soul, because there is little hope for the child who starts off with an innocent dance routine in elementary school. Before you know it, she'll be swaying her hips to the rhythm of song and moving into a world of destitution and despair.

"Is this heaven? No, it's Iowa."

Does anyone truly look forward to the end of their life? How many people embrace the concept of their own death? Not many people do. Death is a great unknown for us. Just as in the purpose of life, the finality of death is pretty uniform. It is only in what happens after death that we start to see the tenets of faith, or non-faith, diversify humanity.

Death can have its uses in life. Often people mention their "bucket lists," a series of tasks they wish to achieve before they "kick the bucket." The list can range from the basic - apologize for wrong doings, visit old friends - while others are nothing short of inspiring - visit the Seven Wonders of the World.

Then there is the death clock. You can find here. Finding out how long you have to live can be great motivation to make the changes you talk about during New Year's parties and doctor's visits.

No matter what people do with knowledge of their own mortality, one fact remains: time may be the undefeatable enemy, but we cannot wait for it to overcome us. Grasp what few moments we have and live it for all its worth.

Then again, watching Chuck can be just as fun.

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This week I heard an interesting question: if you knew you were going to die within the next hour, who would you write to and what would you say?

To say this is an odd topic of discussion is an understatement. Who, in their right mind, would enjoy spending their time talking about this? Other than me? People normally want to debate the meaning of life or, more often, entertainment and/or sports.

Since the question was asked, however, I was compelled to answer it. The first thought in my head was to write "HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" I would presume it is a normal reaction for many people who are fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to know of their impending demise. It's not like there is enough time to write the Great American Novel you dreamed about, go skydiving, or see the world. You can't exactly call all of your friends and family to say goodbye, because that call with your mother will last longer than the time you have left (especially if you never call). So would writing a letter be the only logical thing left to do before your demise? Maybe not.

I would rather spend my last hour doing a few other things. I could find any recording available of the last time the Cubs won the World Series, just so I can live the moment as if it really happened. Or watch the last quarter of the OU National Championship win over Florida State in 2001. I still grin from ear to ear when I think about that game. Maybe watch the last episode of West Wing, pretend for one fleeting moment that I, too, could change the world.

And if I were going to write a letter, I'd make sure it accomplished two things; how I want to be buried and any vain attempt to come off as the most profound human ever. The letter would start off quite simple:

From the Desk of Shimko

Dear ,


I'm dying. Sucks, I know. But since you're reading this and I'm studying the insides of my eyelids - for eternity - I figured you might as well know a few things.

First, make sure NO ONE sees this page. Burn it after you take care of what I have asked you to do.

Now, Make sure EVERYONE is crying at my funeral. I don't care how you do it, just see that tears are flowing faster than the Obama inauguration.

I don't care about a casket. Cremate me instead. Have my ashes strewn in the following places; Owen Field so I can be with the Sooners, Wrigley Field so I can be with the Cubs, Capitol Hill so I can haunt every legislator walking the halls. And do what you can to let the world know of the ghost roaming the Capitol Building, keeping an eye on things and cursing those who corrupt. If I can't be recognized as a leader in the community while alive, might as well turn into the stuff of urban legends...

The other half of the letter wouldn't be as easy. I'm sure it would go something like:

From the Desk of Justin Shimko

Dear ,

Since you are reading this, I have passed on. This isn't a time for tears, as they are falling for someone who cannot see them. Instead, think about the great times we had. I don't have much to say, since so much has been said while I was alive. I don't regret anything I have done, even (insert situation that resulted in my death). Life is short, but it can be exciting.

I guess it is fitting I get to write this letter. I'm always one to announce my plans right before I do them. So here it goes. In just a few moments I'll be taking on the greatest, most mysterious, adventure of man. While you all will live your lives and walk along paths long documented by society, I'll be taking a trip down a path no one has definitively written about. In a way, this is exciting. Too bad no one will get to know what it's like until they encounter it.

In truth, however, I'll probably just write "my passwords are (insert passwords). E-mail everyone to let them know what happened. Cancel my subscription to (insert all my subscriptions). Don't forget to erase my hard drive and make sure my Facebook account is canceled."

"Carpe Per Diem - Sieze the Check"

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

"Carpe Diem."

"The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries, instead they asked only one question
of a man: 'Did he have passion?'"

"Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed."

With all the advice on how to live, it can be surprising to see so many people struggle through life. Truth is, though, it's not. Not when there is so much uncertainty about life and where we are taking it. The many faiths in this world, including the absence of faith, agree only on one absolute; our time on this planet is limited and, therefore, precious. What we do with it, how we understand the meanings behind our moments here, defines the individuality of man and establishes the tenets of faith.

But why the fixation on life? Why is it necessary for us to figure out that we need to live our life to the fullest or to live the life of a pauper or to live hard and die young? Why should our life be spent trying to figure out how to live our life?

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One night, after working a lively fundraiser for a campaign I was recently a member of, a colleague asked, "If you could meet someone from the past, someone from the present and someone from the future, who would they be and why?"

I like these questions. Not because it makes me think, although it does (and a lot), but because of the answers everyone else may present. I feel you can gain real insight into a person through random questions such as these.

For me, the answers were not as easy as I thought. I could've copped out and gone with the obvious; Jesus Christ, President of the United States (or some actor/actress/model of the day) and my wife/children. But how can you discover someone through those answers? I wanted to come up with something crafty, something original, something me. So I chose those people whom I follow quite a bit.

First was the past. I opted for Theodore Roosevelt, a great man who rarely toed any party line. He was a true Republican in the sense that the government must not involve themselves in matters outside of their ramifications. He stood against the spoils system in New York and the party machine throughout the country. More importantly, he recognized that not everything is understood in black and white. He saw trusts as an evil when they control ed the markets, but necessary when they controlled the railroads. He further acknowledged the equality in races - stating that all men, when they so choose to be, should be welcomed in society to further civilization's cause.

Not everything Roosevelt did was good, in my opinion. Some of his progressive ideas were a little too progressive. While his idea of the railroad being regulated by the federal government and not the states was accurate under the Interstate Commerce Clause, his move towards federal growth signaled a change from 19th Century politics to 20th Century progressivism. With the Republicans' rejection of Roosevelt, in favor of the excellent juror but horrible executive William Taft, came the rejection of controlled progressivism. The left took hold of the concept and created a distorted view of how progressivism was supposed to exist. It is sad, really, that so much promise of the New Republican Era was snuffed out by the few remaining members of the Republican Machine.

I want to meet this man for reasons outside of his politics, however. I want to meet "Teddy," as he was known but hated to be called, because of his ideas on conservation and the West, as well as his thirst for history. Many people would view their life as successful if they wrote a book, or several, became governor of the largest state in the Union, served as a war hero, transformed the United States Navy, or traveled the world. But Roosevelt was not many people. Not only did he accomplish these feats, but he also set up a cattle ranch in the Dakotas, reformed the New York City Police Department, as well as the Civil Service Commission, raised quite a large family that doted on him constantly, save his brother whom he tried to save from the despair of alcoholism, all before he turned 42.

What I want to know from him, then, is what possessed him to do all this at such breakneck speed? Why did he feel it was his duty to pursue such a renaissance lifestyle, and become one of the most popular Americans of all time? His jingoism aside, there is more to his ideals about the United States and her place in history than letters alone can provide. Further, his views on race, despite his clear declaration of giving each person a fair shake before judgement without regard to color, are somewhat cloudy. Which Roosevelt was the real Roosevelt? Was he the one who declared that if the man is capable of shooting beside another in war then he is good enough to work with? Or was he the one who thought there was little hope for the Native American and the Arab? Either way, we will never fully know since his time has passed and we are now left with only his written works and a few recorded speeches.

Moving to the present made things easier. My choice would be someone I could actually meet, solely based on the person being alive. I chose my person based on the corruption of power and its effect on the mind. Chinese President Hu Jintao reflects much of this mindset. Not him specifically, but the position he embodies in the party he leads. The concept of communism if fascinating to me. With everything it promises, the ideology of Marx and Mao still fails to uphold the concept that all can be equal. I believe this to be from the inability to consider the need for individuality and the desires of humanity. On paper, society would be great if everything were equal and our society was a classless one. But in practice, the elimination of individuality, of competition and the desire to succeed in one's own way destroys the pillars upon which communism struggles to survive.

For President Hu, I would like to see how it is possible for him, and his colleagues, to continue to exist living in the facade of communism. Their efforts have changed greatly from Mao's "Great Society." The introduction of capitalist ideas, known as "Communism with Chinese Characteristics," takes great strides towards private enterprise and end the socialistic mindset instilled with many communists. However, there is still a great denial occurring at the highest levels of the party. Why? Is the party that afraid of the truth reaching the masses that individuality, human rights, and the prospects of democracy could destroy their livelihood so much? Or are they so consumed with maintaining their grasp of power in the antiquated forms of society that they have failed truly live?

Which brings me to the future. I didn't choose the easy answers because I truly don't want to know those answers. There is no fun in knowing who my wife is before I realize that I want her to be my wife. The fun in life is about not knowing what is going to happen but taking the leap anyway. With that, we have to wait. I'm okay with waiting. We all should be, really. It's our destiny to wait. Since the dawn of man, we have had to wait for everything to happen. It is when we are ready that the action takes place. I don't mean do nothing, however. We continue to work towards our ideal society, but we have to wait to see the fruition of our actions. Waiting enables us to enjoy the end so much more.

I don't want to chose my children, either. There is too much danger derived from figuring out how your children turn out. Science fiction aside, knowing who your children come to be creates indecision as a parent. You second-guess your every move, wondering if you changed the future you have seen. Instead enjoying your time with your children, its spent agonizing over every word, every decision, every action. That alone will change their future, no matter how hard you try to leave it alone.

I can't choose no one since the rules clearly state someone. Nor do I want to chose no one. I want to meet myself in the future, right before I die. This isn't to find out any of life's mysteries - do I succeed in my dreams, where do I end up settling down, what did I become in life. No, I want to find out if I was happy with my life. Because my life is not about who I meet or what I do, but whether I was happy while meeting these people and doing these things. Did I learn to make the most of every moment or do I did end up wasting them all away?

None of this matters, however, because I already know I will be happy with my life. I was able to live. No matter what happens to me, what challenges I do not meet and what successes I achieve, the opportunity to exist is the blessing I cannot turn away from. That is my life lesson, my quote that exists in the world.

"Don't spend your life trying to figure out how to live it. By the time you do, it'll be all over."